by April | Jun 25, 2018 | Encouragement, Faith, Provision, Trust
I used to struggle with fearing not. I know that bad things happen. There have been plenty of bad things in my life and in the lives of those I love. So, the old standby of sayings “well, what could happen?” or “it could be worse” (honestly, who wants that?), they never worked for me. I have a super good imagination (see WRITER) and I’m a professional trouble-shooter (sounds much nicer than pessimist), so my brain is very active.
I used to struggle with fear. And then I didn’t. I do have my short moments, mind you. But I spent a long time in biblical study on fear and in prayer about fear. Through meditation with the Lord, over a period of many months, I uncovered several key incidences in my life that lead me to worry and fear. I’ll tell you what I did when I faced them: I wrote them down and burned them one by one. I prayerfully asked God to heal me of those things and to teach me not to fear. Because the opposite of trusting God is fear. I had to ask myself: Did I really mean it when I said I trusted God? Mostly. I did mostly.
And I realized mostly wasn’t enough.
This year my husband was unemployed for several months. We’d been here before, and I did all the things you do when your income is cut off—I reorganized our budget, I called people and put things on hold, we cut back on everything. All the reasonable things you do. And then? I sat around in a panic and worried…NO. In fact, I didn’t fear. I wasn’t even tempted to fear that my husband wouldn’t find work. Neither of us was (fear can be catching…and I guess the lack of fear can be catching, too!) In fact, several times I actually forgot he wasn’t employed.
Did I have a memory lapse? No. I trusted God.
Do bad things happen? You bet they do. Lots. But through those bad things, God has always provided for us, comforted us, carried us, walked with us, and I knew—really knew—He would do it again. So we prayed and asked for our needs to be met and didn’t fear. This was a cognitive decision we made and Jesus sent His Holy Spirit to settle this into our hearts in a way I had never imagined possible. Let me tell you, the peace that comes from this is incredible. It overflows. And it sticks.
I’ve faced a lot of scary health things in my life. I used to fear. I used to hate the unknown, the long time it took to get a diagnosis, the in-between when my very good (see WRITER again) imagination would take hold of me. But, when I had to face the foundation of my faith, and my trust in God versus those fears, I’ve let it go (no, not like the sappy song). I trusted God for the outcome. WHATEVER THE OUTCOME. It is well with my soul. Seriously.
Here are some verses I read to remind me not to fear. They remind me that Isaiah, Moses, Jesus, and Paul had a lot of earthly reasons to fear. And instead, they bent their knee to the Father, and their pen to paper, to share with those of us still in the battle. They are commands, they are promises, they are God’s great Word of Truth.
I hope they help you, too.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13 For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (and Jesus quotes this!)
Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Mathew 28: 18-20 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
1 John 4:16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
Romans 8: 35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
May our Lord remind you of His great love for you,
April
by April | Aug 30, 2017 | Author Interviews, Book Launch, Faith, Healing Fiction, Hold the Light
Exciting news about the Facebook launch party for HOLD THE LIGHT! I’ll be doing a live feed and answering your questions and chatting with you! I’ve never done that before…so come see how I do? HA. It’ll be super neat. Here’s the link to join the event on September 2nd, from 3-5PM Pacific time. CLICK HERE There will be giveaways including a copy of Hold the Light, mugs, coffee, music, and more!
I’m still recovering from the Oregon Christian Writers Summer Conference #bestconferenceever and rolling out the book launch stuff. There’s so much to do, and so little time! Fatigue is a sneaky beast, but due to a medication improvement, it’s much better than before. Praise God!
The four-day conference was amazing, as always, but mentoring was the highlight for me. I loved connecting with new writers and encouraging them. Well, also Tessa Afshar. And Frank Peretti! He reminded us we are called beloved by the Lord.
Okay, the whole thing was pretty incredible and I came away encouraged and confirmed. How was I confirmed? I’ve felt in my spirit that I should be writing from woundedness and brokenness and pointing readers to hope in the Healer of Life ever since I began this writing life.Every speaker who came, even the secular (and INCREDIBLE–if you’re a writer, go now and get his DVD on writing) Michael Hauge, said the same thing: “Write from the pain and hope you know, that you have connected with, and it will translate to the reader.” Mind blowing.
But it was especially Tess Afshar who touched my heart when she said, “The most fruitful branches have damaged leaves. Remember you are
wiring for readers with damaged leaves.” It still brings tears to my eyes.
I hope you’ll come to the Facebook book launch party and ask questions and share stories. I hope you’ll pick up a copy of HOLD THE LIGHT and see how Amber deals with her damaged leaves. And I hope you will see the Father’s loving fingers on the pages of your life and hear His voice call you beloved.
Until next time.
by April | Mar 4, 2015 | Encouragement, Faith, Spiritual Growth, Trials
While growing up I thought once I was in my forties (or old, as I considered it) that I’d have life all figured out. Okay, quit chuckling at me, that’s not nice. Anyway… as I was saying…life all figured out. Easy sailing on smooth seas. (Seriously?…Stop laughing!)
God’s word doesn’t promise smooth sailing, through. It does promise He will never leave us nor forsake us. I’ve begun to wonder if that verse has a double meaning. In His not leaving us, He’s also not leaving us to our own devices, or leaving us unchanged. Rather, once we accept Jesus as our savior, we are being made over.
We’re like trees standing in a grove, growing, waiting, watching the seasons pass, one to the next. The summer, the fall, the winter… But rather suddenly
and often without warning, trials come. We are cut down. Our limbs trimmed with each challenge, each hardship, each prayer for mercy until our bark is stripped and we are laid bare and tossed away seemingly forgotten in a stack. It’s tempting to despair in that wood pile. There seems no point. If we are walking alone in our faith, it can be devastating. But never fear, the Father is busy not leaving us to our own. He’s making us over, chipping away at us, for our own good and His ultimate Glory, making us into something useful. We have to be careful though, because the temptation to focus on the shavings pooling around our feet instead of the Master Carpenter is great.
Some of us (me included) will race to the store for wood glue and desperately try to stick those useless shavings back on, or put them in a box to save for later. In our memories, those shavings can become so important we forget that the Lord isn’t interested in them, but He’s got a better plan in mind. It’s not until we brush the shavings off and step away, looking at ourselves through His eyes we are able to see a new, useful creation. The old has been chipped away.
Are you stuck in winter? Are you being chipped away at? Do not fear, nor despair–spring is coming. It’s nearly here.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
by April | Dec 31, 2014 | Encouragement, Faith, Prayer, Trials
We’re wrapping up the old year and bringing in another brand new year. Goodbye 2014. You were a challenge to me. I had some of my greatest writing achievements (a second book published, up for some awards, won an honorary award) this year. I also faced a long bout of multiple illnesses–it was a very hard spring and summer.
People I’m close to faced some pretty unimaginable trials last year–many are carrying on into the new year. I’d like to say tomorrow is a brand new day with no problems in it–that it really is altogether new and spotless, that being a new year carried some guarantees of wellness and will be trouble free. But I can’t. This new year will have high points and low for everyone I know. But I take comfort we can face anything if we’re trusting in the Lord.
In my prayer time recently, I began to feel uneasy. Some of the things I’ve been praying for a very long time. Was I praying right? Did I have the right words, the right faith, the right posture? Was my heart right, my intentions good enough? At that point I was reminded that I could never pray right enough to convince God of anything. You see, I’m imperfect. I sometimes have selfish motives. I can’t see the big picture like God does (who planned our Lord’s birth over thousands of years down to the last detail). I don’t know if removing a trial from a loved one’s life will, in the end, be a detriment instead of what God intended using it for (drawing them closer to Him usually figures in that equation). In fact, when it came down to it, I didn’t know anything at all. Well, except one thing–these circumstances I prayed for, they all needed God’s hand of strength, of peace, of patience, of healing. The details were not up to me, they were up to Him.
Jesus said to pray. I pray. Jesus said to ask for whatever I need in His name. I do. He also prayed the night before his arrest and conviction: “Not my will but Yours be done. *
That removes a lot of pressure, doesn’t it? At the end of us and our ideas of how things should be, it’s enough to pray, “Not my will but Yours be done.” I know I can pray that with all confidence because I trust Him. I know His attributes: He is the God of love, of mercy, of strength, of peace, of comfort, of provision.
Trust comes in every relationship as intimacy deepens. You share, they share; you listen, they listen; you’re there for them, and they are there for you.
Do you trust in the One who hears our prayers? If you’ve never given your life to Jesus, if you’ve never admitted your sin and need of Him and asked Him into your heart, then that first step of intimacy is missing from your life. You’ll never learn to trust Him if you’ve never met Him. Relationship with Him begins with that simple prayer.
But then it goes on. It has to or you’ll never get to know Him the way He’d like you to. Think of it this way: It’d be as if I met you on the street, we had an amazing bonding experience, and then you never spoke to me again.
I pray this new year will be full of blessings, but especially full of intimacy with our Lord. I pray for Him to work out His full, perfect will in your life.
* Verses used Luke 22:42 John 15:7 Luke 11
by April | Aug 8, 2014 | Award, Encouragement, Faith, Writer of Promise, Writing
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 But he (Jesus) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I won an award this week at the Oregon Christian Writers Summer conference. It’s an award for being a Writer of Promise. It’s actually an award I thought would be very cool to win, but never expected to hear my name associated with it. In fact, I was so surprised to hear my name, all the blood rushed out of my extremities. I have no knowledge of how I got up those stairs and onto that stage. I remember very little about what I said, and only have a vague recollection of sitting down in my seat again. But I did because God enabled me to. In fact, God enables me to do everything I do. He’s enabling you, too, but you might not be aware to what extent. I am acutely aware.
Here’s what I would have said on that stage if I’d had more time and had my wits better about me. Maybe I said it and don’t remember. If you were there, I pray you saw it in my eyes: my complete unworthiness, my gratefulness, and my boast in the Lord:
I can do nothing without God. Really. I am chronically ill with a rare disease that leaves my body “fighting” germs 24/7. I get up every day with body aches and a fuzzy head, not walking straight, not sure of what I can take on. I’m exhausted because of the fight. Have you had the flu? Yeah, like that–pretty much all the time. At this week’s conference, I was heading back to my room every four hours for breathing treatments. I planned my classes, my meetings, around these treatments, around rests, around plenty of downtime. I almost didn’t make it to OCW, let alone the dinner and awards ceremony, because I’d been so sick. My medical treatment for my condition is done on Tuesday evenings, and 98 percent of Wednesdays, I’m down all day. I’m certainly not dressed up, on my feet, attending classes and going to late night galas. I shouldn’t have been at the dinner. In fact, I was due for a breathing treatment RIGHT in the middle of the awards ceremony. I was going to have to leave. But my lungs didn’t spasm with an asthma flare, so I stayed. And that’s when I got the most amazing surprise of my career (outside of my first book contract).
As I heard the kudos for the last award of the night, I prepared to clap for whoever it was. Then, I suddenly realized (via some clues) that the presenter, Lindy Jacobs, was talking about me! Although we were in a room of several hundred people, right then, it was just me and the Father. Because all I do, all I accomplish, all I write, all my steps are from Him. Literally. He carried me up those steps, He got me back to my seat. He got me through photos and lots of lovely hugs, and then back up that long hallway to my room where I cried and stayed awake in awe and humility into the wee hours. He stayed up with me, too. People often ask me why I write about my illness on my blog, why I share so openly when asked. THIS is why. I want you to see it’s not me, it’s Him. I want you to see how He loves us. I want you to see how involved He is in every aspect of our lives. He is my strength, my portion, my motivation. My all in all. And I’m so grateful.
by April | Mar 16, 2014 | Chronic Illness, Encouragement, Faith, Prayer
Everyone has seasons in their lives of joy and hardship. Sometimes the hard ones feel like they go on forever, though. We’ve gone through many years of health hardships. They don’t seem to stop, but continue to ramp. You can take a break from activities, you can take a vacation from your job—but you can’t get away from your health.
Imagine with me a staircase.
The stairs take you up. The first few get your blood pumping, the next set start taking a bit more effort and you breathe harder. You keep on going, looking toward the end, but now your breath comes in gasps and pants. You have to stop and grip the rail, but there’s no place to sit down. Sweat trickles down your back, so you take off your coat, and keep climbing, because there’s no going back—there’s just up. If you have a disability, you might be pulling yourself along by that rail, one shaky foot, one sweaty palm, at a time.
On a real staircase, there are landings. If you’re climbing at a park, there might even be a well-placed bench for you to take a breather, a respite, a time of recovery—a drink of
cool water. It might be pokey, and uneven, but it’s a bench, and you’re grateful for it. After you catch your breath, you continue on, and then the path, or the stairwell, turns a corner. You’re still tired, but not as tired as you were. You had a break. The best thing is, you know soon there will be another landing, another place to take a break—or you’ll have reached the top.
But, what if there are no landings?
What if those stairs just keep climbing? You crane your neck, squint your eyes and all you see are more and more stairs. That’s where we’re at. These past few weeks, I’ve been praying for a landing.
Maybe you’re with me on those stairs, climbing relentlessly, praying for a break. Maybe it will help you to know you’re not alone. I’m here, too. We can hold each other’s hands as we go, pull each other up over that next step, urge each other along. Pray for one another. Jesus is there with us, He’s got your hand and mine.
Let me know if I can pray for you. You can message me privately on this page, or leave a comment below. Either way, I’ll see you on the stairs.
Psalm 73: 23-26 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (full passage here)
John 10:25-30 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (full passage here)
Philippians 4: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (full passage here)
