by April | Apr 17, 2013 | Chronic Illness, CVID, Encouragement
Last night my son came in the living room and said, “I love Tuesdays because we get to watch something fun and we always have popcorn.” He looked so happy. And that really struck me, because up until about five months ago, Tuesdays were not fun. Tuesdays are the day I do my infusion treatment for my CVID.
I’ve blogged a couple times on how my attitudes have changed since I started treatment for my CVID. I wrote in a previous post how I started thinking of my IgG infusion as immunobuddies rather than an enemy making me feel fatigued, achy and stealing my night and part of the next day away. I also stopped looking at Tuesdays like I wanted to skip them altogether. Instead, I started to think about how I could make this routine into something a bit more enjoyable.
I used to just try and keep my stress low on Tuesday, and make an easy meal before I started my treatment (I won’t share with you the perils of trying to cook whilst carrying around a pump—let’s just say getting your lines caught on a cutting board makes you want to plan ahead!).
But now, not only do I get dinner all prepped and finished before I start my infusion, but I also make popcorn. Popcorn??? Yep. Because I’ve turned Tuesday into ‘low stress, let’s have fun’ night. We’ll turn on a show I love or put in a movie we’ve been waiting to see.
My kids used to say, “Oh, it’s your treatment night,” in an empathetic sad voice. Now, all of us have something to look forward to. My two hours pass and we’ve had a nice evening together. I’m still curled in a ball in the chair after my infusion is over, but at least I’m in pretty good emotional condition now.
And I get popcorn.
What sorts of things do you do help you cope with a rough time? I’d love hearing about it.
May our Lord bless and keep you.
***Novel release update: June is around the corner, and Jasmine will release digitally on the 15th. I’m finishing final edits as you read this, my book trailer is just about ready, and I’m going to have friends popping over here now and then to share about their books. See you next week.***
by April | Mar 18, 2013 | Encouragement
Do you ever find it’s hard to live up to someone else’s expectations? Although you may be embarrassed to admit it, you just can’t quite measure up?
My daughter has been in more than a couple events that required costumes. As the mom, the ‘stay-at-home homeschooling mom’ no less, it’s assumed as rolls are handed out, that I can sew. To which I always find myself in a bit of a conundrum.
I come from a long line of seamstresses. My grandmothers sewed, one of them quite expertly. My Mom1 sews pretty well. My Mom2 was a professional seamstress (and still is, but now she only does it for ‘fun’). All of these wonderful women tried to teach me to sew. My Mom2 even gave me a brilliant sewing machine to use. They were all patient, and caring and encouraging in their instruction.
And yet…
The other day my daughter went through my sewing kit and found a bag inside. “What’s this?” She held up a sack and proceeded to dump the contents out. I knew what was inside—I didn’t need to watch.
“A baby bib,” I responded rather quietly—trying not to look at my failure.
“For who?” She held up the tiny circular bib with teddy bears on it, edging hanging askew.
“You.” Keep in mind, my daughter is fifteen.
You’ve got that right, I can’t sew. Well, I take that back, I can sew rectangular things-like tablecloths and curtains and pillow cases. But, as for the aforementioned circular bib-no. Doll clothes? Nuh-uh. Dresses? Let’s not go there.
Sometimes it’s hard to admit you’re beat. At other times though, I’d love to wear a sweatshirt that says, “Yep, I’m a mom who isn’t crafty and who doesn’t sew!” just to get startled looks from people. Because, really, I do get them. (I would naturally have to BUY the sweatshirt).
As I’m maturing, though, I’m learning that it’s okay not to be able to do everything. God made me for a particular purpose, with gifts and talents and it doesn’t mean I have to live up to other people’s expectations of me—just His. That sure takes off a lot of pressure when I remember that.
As I put the half-sewn bib carefully back into the sack (with about three others I had cut out) she wondered why I didn’t just give it away. I shrugged, but in the back of my mind, there was that nagging voice saying I might be able to finish them in time for grandchildren one day in the far future. Well, you never know…
by April | Feb 17, 2013 | Compassion, Encouragement, Prayer
Do you find it hard not to offer advice or try to fix things—not to speak when someone is in need? I have to admit, I’m a reformed fixer. And if you know me personally, you know I love to talk!
In the past year, I’ve had the privilege to sit in silence next to friends and even a stranger here or there. In December, I was on the phone with a gal in customer service at my internet provider who really needed someone to listen to her. She mentioned it was the first Christmas for her and her kids since their divorce. She went on to tell me about their new apartment, their plans for the holidays, and how things were hard, but going better than she expected. She must have shared with me for fifteen minutes (I hope they weren’t recording THAT call for quality assurance). After a while, she apologized for keeping me so long, but I told her it was okay, and I hoped she’d have a wonderful Christmas. After I hung up, my daughter came by my desk and asked who I’d been talking to. I told her I didn’t know and she gave me the strangest look!
In other times this past year, I’ve had close friends sharing tough times or experiencing deep grief. In those instances as well, the best thing to do was for me to stay silent and listen, holding their hand and offering to pray with them.
When I was a kid, we’d drive past farmland with rows of trees and bushes planted. If I tried to see them all, they’d be this big blur. But when I focused on one at a time, I could see the straight rows they were planted in, and the pathways in-between. Slowing down to listen is like that. And oftentimes, when we are listening, God will speak to our hearts about how we can best be there for others.
James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…(full text here)
by April | Feb 5, 2013 | Writing
I use song titles for my blog posts. I’m very connected to music when I write and it just takes a bar or two of something on the radio to transport me to another place. So, when I started to think about this post, I immediately remembered a song I loved when I was a kid. I’d lay on the floor in front of my mother’s record player and listen to her Don McLean album. Wonderful Baby would conjure up the best images in my little-kid mind. And with the launch of my book creeping up on me, it’s the first song I thought about for the title.
Deep breaths! About four months from now my novel, Jasmine, will be released digitally (JUNE!) and then in September to paper. It’s been a long time coming.
In talking with a good friend the other day she commented how she thought the hard part was finding a publisher. And indeed-that’s hard! But there were those many, many years writing short pieces and novels that won’t see the light of day. There are all the classes, conferences and connections made with professionals in the field. Then came building a following on my blog, Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, and Goodreads.
Waiting for a book to be published is like waiting for your baby to be born. At first you’re super nervous, because what have you gotten yourself into? Do you even know how to be a parent? You have a panic attack or two and then decide to break the news to family and friends. Their excitement carries you along and you start to feel like, “Yeah, I can do this!” And then the nausea and vomiting comes—scratch that, I didn’t throw up when I found out about Jasmine—I will, however, spare you the gory details of my 18 months of vomiting with my actual pregnancies.
Um…where was I? Oh yeah. You start preparing for the baby’s arrival (market plans). Then comes all the scary videos on how hard and painful things are going to be. Complete strangers (seriously, this happened to me a lot!) tell you horror stories about their birth experiences, and you begin to imagine the worst. You’re suddenly back at what have I gotten myself into?
That’s where I’ve been for the past few weeks. Excited but uneasy. Self-doubt creeping in. But, then I spied a locket my dear friend gave me when she heard about my publication debut (see photo). She hadn’t a clue that writing a novel was so similar to the birth process or how meaningful that locket would become to me. But, every now and then, I just pick it up and stare at it, a silly grin plastered over my face.
As I’m preparing for the baby book launch, will you stand by me and pray and help get the word out? I’d so appreciate your help. Please share my blog with your friends and ask them to sign up so they don’t miss out on any announcements. Just as it takes a community to raise a child—it also takes one to launch a book!
Do you have a blog I can be a guest on? Are you in a book club? Can you help me by posting on Facebook, Twitter and other avenues as the days draw closer? I’d love to count you in my launch team! Leave me a message below.
by April | Jan 25, 2013 | Fear, Trials, Trust
I haven’t blogged for several weeks now. We’ve been going through some insurance changes that put me off my medication schedule and I started to feel pretty lousy—I don’t know about you, but I have serious problems writing when I feel lousy! Thankfully, my supplies showed up two weeks ago. Even so, it put me and my immunobuddies off schedule and invited bronchitis to stay a while. Don’t worry though–this blog post is germ free!
I was pretty amazed at the fast turn around this time in getting my medication approved so quickly. Maybe for two reasons. Usually, these things can take quite a while. The other had to do with prayer–but maybe not the one you’d expect me to make. I prayed that if this medication wasn’t necessary (read I can get by without my immunobuddies) that the Lord wouldn’t let me get approved at all. This has to do in part with the huge burden they put on us financially. And…truly…it’s still not an enjoyable treatment.
Well, I got approved in 2 days this time. Unheard of. I think I knew all along I needed them (see paragraph one)–but I wasn’t sure how God would provide for us to pay for them this year. And He surprised us with an answer to that, too. I can’t share details, but I was amazed.
Do you ever feel like you really need one prayer answered? Not just for the answered prayer–but because you need a faith boost? I know that the Lord hears my prayers–His word says He does and I believe it. But, sometimes they take a long time to be answered, or are answered in such a way I don’t see them. Well, that’s where I was. I needed a boost to my faith. He sent one just in time.
If you’d like, I’d love to hear about ways God has intervened on your behalf during trials—and left you completely amazed. Leave me a comment?
Jeremiah 32:17 Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. (full text here)
Last night my son came in the living room and said, “I love Tuesdays because we get to watch something fun and we always have popcorn.” He looked so happy. And that really struck me, because up until about five months ago, Tuesdays were not fun. Tuesdays are the day I do my infusion treatment for my CVID.
