April McGowan

These Eyes

Comparisons happen in our minds all day long. How much more caffeine is in that 24 oz latte than the 16 oz? Is that spider bigger than the one I saw yesterday, or is that one of its many babies? If I use that super extensive homeschool curricula, will I churn out a gifted student poised to take on the world? (Can you tell we’re getting ready for our first year of homeschooling through high school?).

Comparisons are natural—it’s something our brain does without thinking about it. And that’s where the danger lies. Our eyes. I might see a house that is larger than my own and think about all that extra space I could use and become discontent. Or, see that super in-shape person on TV and be tempted to feel badly about my body. In our subconscious state, comparisons can turn to coveting before we can blink.

When I first entered this flare-up of CVID last year, I had well meaning people say, “It could always be worse.” Or, “You could be as sick as this other person, be grateful you’re not them.” I realized right then, that’s not a good scenario. Because in comparing myself to others, ill or well, rich or poor, gifted or normal, I’m going to be tempted to do one of two things: I’ll either gloat and feel self-righteous, or I’ll wallow and start to feel sorry for myself. Both are sinful.

It’s not an easy thing to do, to walk through this life and keep my eyes on God’s plan and off of what is happening in other people’s lives—to be objective. But, it’s something worth striving for. God’s got a different road for everyone to travel. It does Him a disservice if I’m always wishing I was someone else.

If you’ve been walking (reading) alongside me this past 18 months, you’ll know I’ve been awfully sick. The good news this week is that I’ve been administering immunoglobulin replacement therapy for 6 months now, and I’m about 60% better than I was last year at this time. That is HUGE. I’m so grateful to God for treatment for my illness.

If you’re suffering and are waiting for healing, please know that God hears your prayers—and He’s got a plan for you. It might involve miraculous healing. It might involve being healed through modern medicine (for which I’m very grateful, because I’d be long dead from any number of things by now). But, whatever happens, whatever the path, He’s on it with you. He promises that to His children. Keep your eyes on Him.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

Would you do me a favor? If you like what I’ve written, please share it with someone else 🙂 And I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts!


  1. Alexandra Smith
    Sep 6, 2012

    I cannot presume to know what you are going through, but I know that God is with you and I pray more blessings on you. In UK we don’t do much home schooling so that must take its toll, I appreciate the work put in by teachers. Thank you for introducing yourself a little more through your blog, I already believe is watching your back, he is your constant prescence and your life.

    • April
      Sep 8, 2012

      Thanks for commenting 🙂 Homeschooling can add some stresses, but it’s really enabled us to pull together more through all our trials. And, yes, I’m also very grateful for His constant presence in my life. I can’t imagine living without Him!

  2. mom
    Sep 6, 2012

    Thank you for the sermon — I needed that. Very good sweetie.

  3. April
    Sep 6, 2012

    Aww, thanks, Mom. Hugs.

  4. Roseanna M. White
    Sep 9, 2012

    So true, April! It’s hard to be content with where we are, with who we are. Balancing a good desire to improve ourselves with a trust that the Lord has put us where He wants us. I’m so grateful for all He’s given–including wonderful friends/authors who post such great reminders. =) So glad to hear about your improvement! Praying it continues to renewed health for you.

    And prayers for your school year!! Boy, am I relieved to still be far away from the high school years, LOL.

    • April
      Sep 9, 2012

      Thanks, Roseanna! When ever I start to feel frustrated, I just remember how I was last year (barely walk through a store), and I feel thankful all over again. The day we met, last summer, was the first time I’d be out all day in nearly a year. God got me through, and I’m sure glad we met 🙂
      High school starts tomorrow! I’ll keep you posted!

  5. Beth Z.
    Sep 11, 2012

    April, I thought this verse from Paul, that talks about it being foolish to compare ourselves with others was good as well. “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV). Another reason to stop the comparisons. Beth

    • April
      Sep 11, 2012

      Beth, and excellent verse! Thanks! Blessings!

  6. Andrea Johnson
    Sep 18, 2012

    Very wise. Thanks for reminding me that it is the small things that matter and that God takes good care of his believers. Love, Mom

  7. Tiffany
    Nov 6, 2013

    April, I was encouraged reading some of your blogs and input on CVID. I would love to get in contact with you about it and ask some questions. I also have CVID and I think it would be nice to talk to someone else that has it.

    • April
      Nov 6, 2013

      Hi Tiffany, I’m glad I can offer some encouragement. It can be a daily battle for some folks. It is for me. I’ll email you at the address you provided and we can chat 🙂 Many blessings.

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